It’s Saturday night and I’m recouping from travel as I’m sure many of you are. Casey and I spent Thanksgiving week with his side of the family in Bismarck, North Dakota. For the first time in a long time, the whole immediate family was able to get together. It was a genuinely fun time, but I found myself feeling a bit out of place. I’ve never really noticed it as much as I did this trip with all of us together for a week.
It’s hard being the newest member of the family. Think about it. They share the same genes, have years of history behind them and have an unbreakable bond, as they should. It’s difficult to become a part of that bond, but not impossible. There are two other in-laws in the family, but after 10+ years of marriage they have seamlessly integrated into the family.
It’s not for lack of effort that I felt out of place. Casey’s family is wonderful and the women have really gone out of their way to love me well. I guess I’m just stuck in this in-between phase. Not only am I the new girl, I’m the only woman that isn’t a mom. There’s a unique connection that draws mothers together. Their lives somewhat revolve around their children. It’s only natural that parenting would often be a topic of conversation, especially with my sister-in-law expecting. Even more, all the other women are all stay-at-home moms. Even further, they all love to cook. Clearly I’m not a mom. I’m a workaholic wife that hates being in the kitchen. Not exactly the most common ground to stand on.
So how do I keep from feeling out of place? Or maybe it’s just unavoidable. I mean aren’t we all always stuck in one in-between phase or another? I’d love to hear if any of you all have found yourself in a similar place with your in-laws, friends or your own family.
P.S. One more place for my 25 things list.
Related Post: The In-Law Stigma