Casey and I are back in counseling. If you’ve been reading my posts lately, I’m sure you’re not surprise. We’ve been struggling to find a good balance since Ashlynne moved in and it has weighed heavy on our marriage. As our counselor explained it, we missed out on the years where heaving a child brings you closer together and strengthens your love, building a strong foundation for the teenage years that often pull couples apart because they divide and conquer homework, shuttle service, and the other demands of active teens.
I suppose it just adds to our time apart that we are moving and about to have a baby. I get it, life can get chaotic, but at least there is an end to this chaos. In just 4 weeks, we will be settled in our new home and either ready for baby to arrive or settled in with baby. Ashlynne will be out of school and Casey all be off work for the summer. We are going to go from 60 to zero in just a matter of weeks. Okay, so maybe not quite zero, but it is sure going to feel that way in comparison.
Some would say Casey and I should just manage as best we can during chaos and then reconnect when it ends. Counseling is just something else on the schedule, right? I have to admit, I thought the same thing when Casey first suggested we return, but the truth is that life is inevitably chaotic. It’s the cliché roller coaster of ups and downs, flips, turns and loopty loops. This will not be our last moment of chaos in this life. We must learn to stay connected in chaos and not let it overtake us. I don’t know about you, but I want a great, connected marriage all the time, not just when life is easy. Plus, counseling is kind of like a date night – scheduled time for the two of us to connect on a weekly basis.
So in our first session back we talked about priorities. There’s our ideal and then what our priorities actually look like based on how we spend our time. It came as no surprise to us that we are living in an upside down triangle. But how do we right things, especially when it feels like everything at the base of our triangle (low priority) is a “must-do” as deadlines with baby, work, and the house weigh us down?
I suppose the key is starting small. Our goal for now is to try and have a consistent 10-15 minutes of devotional time as a family when we tuck Ashlynne in at night. This will ideally help us grow spiritually while fostering relationship with Ashlynne and intimacy with each other, all top priorities. 3 birds. One stone. I’m excited to see how this little step helps us slowly start focusing on what’s at the top of our triangle, even when everything at the bottom is demanding our time.
How do you make time for top priority items and not let the tasks of daily life weigh you down?