It’s been almost a month since I put my heart on the page. Some down time was to be expected with the chaos of the holidays, but this was not my intention. Not writing wears heavy on my soul. Writing is often my time to decompress, process, and hear from God. It stills and refreshes me. Without it, I function, but not in fullness. I function, but I don’t thrive and have very little to offer others. I can’t let this time slip away from me like this again.
I think being sick had something to do with it. It was the night of Tuesday, December 16 after a baby doc appointment that I noticed I wasn’t feeling 100%. I’m sure it didn’t help that the next day I had an all day meeting in Knoxville (3 hours away). I came home feeling awful after the drive and long meeting. I could tell I had a cold coming on, but was determined to be okay because I had planned for our missional community to serve lunch at the elementary school that next day, and I wasn’t going to miss it! Casey and I definitely disagreed on that subject, but decided we’d wait until the morning to make our decision. When he was cleaning my puke off the bathroom floor at 3am, I lost the argument and spent Wednesday at home in bed.
The next two weeks were spent in unmedicated misery as I spent most of the night struggling to sleep and most of the day hacking up colors I can’t even describe. It was during this time that Baby B gave me my first good kick! Whoa! There’s something in there! I’ve been feeling small movements ever since 15 weeks or so, but this was no small movement. Baby doesn’t like it when momma’s sick.
I wish I could say I spent those miserable two weeks at home, but it wasn’t possible. We had Casey’s Christmas Party. Then time with our neighbors. Then my mom came in town. The day after she left we had friends over for Christmas Dinner. Then mom came back into town the next day. Then the pretty much my whole family arrived the next day for Christmas Dinner #2.
That was also the day that Ashlynne, our niece, officially moved in. It was a difficult time for all involved, and all I could do was pray for God’s comfort to overwhelm us. Ashlynne’s little sister, Tailynn, spent the weekend with us which consisted of more family coming over, lots of cooking in the kitchen with Tailynn, a wedding, church, eating out, movie nights, and anything else we could fit into the schedule. When my sister came to pick up Tailynn up, the goodbye was just a little bit easier for her and Ashlynne. Progress. That’s a good sign.
Ashlynne’s transition into our home was definitely not a calm one. Our schedule was jam packed with little room for down time. That next night we had dinner with friends from church, then a New Year’s Eve party, then our first family date to see Catching Fire. Then there was a worship service at church that night. And out of no where, it was time for Casey to head to school to get ready for students again. Ashlynne went to help which was a surprise, but she was super helpful! The next day Ashlynne and I spent all afternoon at the health department, and then she she spent the weekend with one of her friends.
Whew! Finally time to breathe. Casey and I took advantage of the night off and went on a date night to PF Chang’s. So good and much needed. Then the next night, we were so exhausted from the craziness of the past month that we just hung out and played Mario on Nintendo. (We inherited an original Nintendo from Ashlynne. #bonus). Then we picked Ashes up after church that Sunday and headed straight to the grocery. You know, grocery shopping goes even faster with 3 people instead of 2. Huge advantage! Then the snow came. Well, not really, but it was super freezing outside. So no teacher work day on Monday. Then no school Tuesday. Today (Wednesday) was Ashlynne’s first day. I took her in like any good mom would and spent the morning there until she was settled and off on her own along with a pile of other new students.
Now I sit here, alone in this house, and completely lost as to what I’m supposed to do with the silence. So I’m writing again. Finally! And trying to prepare for our new normal… at least until Baby B gets here.Originally written January 8, 2013