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10 Benefits of Ditching Cable

August 31, 2014 By: Shana4 Comments

One of the best decisions we have made as a married couple is to ditch our cable. Although we still haven’t completely scrapped the screen, we are making a move toward less reality shows and more reality. For now, that means some classic bunny ear antennas, plus Amazon Prime and Redbox for the occasional movie. I like to imagine a day when our television’s only job is displaying photos and homemade videos of sweet times with our family. Even by just getting rid of cable and sticking to a few basic channels, we’ve experienced many of the benefits below. I encourage you to consider doing the same.

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1. Save more money. Everyone has something they’re saving for whether it be an expensive item like a car or something smaller like a new pair of jeans. Whatever it may be, cutting cable will help you put more into your piggy bank.

2. Steal more time. Everyone wants more of it, but there isn’t anymore out there. You get what you’re given so make the most of it. If you’re like me, you could find yourself lost in shows for hours. It always left me feeling unproductive and guilty about wasting my time. If we want more time, we have to steal it from something else. Why not steal your TV time for more family/work/crafting/learning/volunteer time?

3. Be more productive. So you think you’re the master of multi-tasking huh? Many of us are dual or even triple screeners. We can often be found sitting on the couch watching TV with our computer in our lap and our phone by side. All those tasks going on at one time must make us more productive, right? Wrong. I find I’m way more productive when I turn the TV off, focusing my mind on the ONE task at hand. TV is a distraction that siginificantly decreases our productivity.

4. Enjoy less drama. Let’s all just be a little honest with each other here. We each have enough drama in our own lives that we don’t need television shows to add more. Whether you’re watching soap operas and sitcoms or the news and HGTV, it’s the drama that draws you in. It’s toxic. Run away. Run quickly away.

5. Play more games. As a child, I learned to play Gin Rummy at the kitchen table, monopoly on the coffee table, and darts in the garage. Although those moments were few and far between, they are some of my fondest memories. How often do we play games that don’t involve screens? The face-to-face fun an interaction has been replaced by face-to-screen entertainment, and kids around the US are growing up without knowing how to hold their own at a card table. It’s a tragedy.

6. Increase your knowledge. Look, I understand that television can be educational and that YouTube videos are the new encyclopedias, but life is so much more fun when we learn through apprenticeship. I have many dishes that are better than my mom’s macaroni and corn casserole (sorry, mom!), but I make it frequently because it reminds me of when she taught me how to make it. From shooting hoops to changing a tire, life skills are meant to be shared through relationships and learned by doing. So turn off that TV and teach someone something.

7. Be more rested. It’s 8:55 pm and you’re absolutely exhausted. Thankfully, your show is almost over then you’ll head to bed, but then it happens. Your show ends and instead of a commercial, it goes right to the next show. You don’t look away quick enough and all of a sudden you’re hooked, glued to the couch for another hour. It’s happened to the best of us. We can’t stand the thought of missing out on something. Sleep is precious. Get more of it.

8. Exercise your imagination. Don’t watch your stories, create them. Build a fort (without looking it up on YouTube first), climb on in, and tell a tale of adventure and mystery. Create Christmas crafts without guidance from Martha Stewart. Let your brain run free without constant input and see what the output is. I’m sure you won’t be disappointed.

9. Soak up Vitamin D. When I was growing up I spent most of my summer in the sun jumping on the trampoline, shooting hoops in the driveway, splashing in puddles, and stomping in the creek. Now the glare of the sun reflects off my iPad so my love for sunlight has dwindled. It’s sad, but true. It’s so difficult to avoid curling up on the couch in our air conditioned homes, remote at the ready. If you don’t have cable, chances are you’ll find yourself seeking outdoor entertainment more often.

10. Experience deeper connection. If you’re anything like Casey and me, you come home from a long day and veg out on the couch in front of a mindless show. Maybe you even sit on opposite sides of the room, or even in different rooms because you don’t like the same shows. Shutting off the tube leaves room for conversations that drive deeper emotional connection. Oh and if you have a TV in your bedroom, get rid of it and (ahem) find a way to entertain each other.

Now ready to kick cable out your door just yet? Try one day per week, tube-free Tuesday or if you’re really brave, turn it off Monday – Friday. Let’s see what life we can get back by cutting back on TV.

Have you ditched cable and seen an impact in your life for the better? Would love to hear from you in the comments.

A Disappointing Surprise for My Husband

August 19, 2014 By: Shana7 Comments

The moment had arrived. It happens once every two or three years, but when it hits me, something must be done fast.

You see, I’m pretty cheap when it comes to caring for myself. I make my own shampoo, conditioner, lotion, face wash, etc. partly because I like being as natural as possible, but the main driver is saving money. That’s the same reason I never get my haircut. (There might be some laziness in there too.) I see my sister-in-law twice a year and each time she gives me a little trim. It doesn’t help that my hair grows super fast, especially with these prenatal vitamins I’ve been taking for the last year. Although I love my long hair and saving money by avoiding cuts, there always comes a time once every two or three years that I can no longer stand the length and frantically start trying to schedule a chop.

I’m not sure if it was from Silas constantly clamping on to my hair, his spit up in it, or just the additional time it takes to wash and dry when time is more precious than ever, but two weeks ago I knew the time was now. I reached out to my friend, Annie, who had expressed interest in chopping her hair recently. She was in! After a few recommendations, we had back-to-back appointments scheduled with an affordable stylist in town. Sneakily, we both decided to keep our plans to ourselves, not even telling our husbands.

So last Tuesday we packed everything but the kitchen sink, and headed to the salon, babies in tow. I would watch Silas and her 9 month old while she got her haircut, and then she would watch the babes. If cutting 9 inches of hair wasn’t enough of an adventure, watching those two kids in a salon lobby was. Details aside, we both went through with the cut and were pretty pleased with the overall experience, although next time we will opt for babysitters for sure.

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Knowing I had kept my plans a secret from Casey, I was anticipating the big reveal. I knew he was getting sick of my long hair being in the way and was going to love my new ‘do. Let me tell you, being a new mom doesn’t leave you with many opportunities to feel pretty, but this styled cut had me feeling that way. Now all I needed was a plan to surprise Casey, and capture his excitement.

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I knew he would be coming home soon so I positioned my phone just right to be able to capture the moment when he walked through the door. I touched up my look in the bathroom, hit record, and rushed into position as I heard the garage door open.

Casey walked through the door and expressed his shock. “You got a haircut!”

I began walking toward him, expressing a warm embrace with a “You look amazing. I love it!”

This is what I got instead…

He turned toward the fridge, away from me, and questioned “From who? Did you cut it?!”

What? Did I cut it? Are you kidding? I couldn’t help, but wear the disappointment and hurt right on my sleeve. It had been almost 3 years since I had my haircut. It was 9 inches shorter. I actually PAID to get this ‘do. I look good! Or at least I thought I did. I just knew he was going to think I did. And maybe he did, but his lack of enthusiasm or maybe his confusion, left me feeling ugly and unloved.

Stupid. I know, but that’s what expectations can do to us. Clearly hurt, I told Casey what I had expected and how I was feeling. He did his best to sincerely apologize, but the moment was gone. There’s no recovering from that. He can’t erase it, go back in time, and rush in the door with a warm embrace and compliment. The moment was now covered with the image of him walking away while pondering if I had actually cut my own hair.

So although I accept his apology, and totally understand how he just had his mind on something completely different when I caught him off guard, I’m still disappointed that the much anticipated moment was such a #fail.

Have you ever had a disappointing moment like this in your life?

The Big Move – Part Two

June 20, 2014 By: Shana1 Comment

To see how we got to this point… read Part One here.

Friday

The 6am alarm came way too early. We were up wrapping up packing, pulling sheets from beds, throwing last-minute items into laundry baskets – just trying to beat the movers. Our work the night before had paid off. After we finished packing, Casey had time to run to Sonic for breakfast. We spent 30 wonderful minutes resting at the kitchen table together before the movers arrived. 3 Men and a Truck. It was supposed to be 2 men, but they threw in a bonus guy I guess. Casey had to go to work so I sat at the kitchen table and worked while I watched these guys load our treasures into the truck and occasionally answered their questions.

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All was going well until I overheard them say they were running out of room in the truck. Despite them coming to the house to survey everything, they had underestimated and would need to make two trips (more $) or load the truck + trailer we were borrowing from a friend. Having no clue how to hook up the trailer much less drive the thing, I didn’t see that as an option. I was very thankful when Casey arrived home on his lunch break, just in time to solve the problem. He was able to get everything hooked up and loaded in time for all of us to make the trip to the new home (only 2.3 miles). The movers, arriving just after we did, had taken a lunch break. Casey heard a crutch which he thought was them driving over rocks then went down to greet them. When he got to the street, he found our car side view mirror in the road. The movers assured us they didn’t do it, but further investigation proved otherwise. There wasn’t any point in arguing with the guys so we tabled the issue until later.

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The move was quite a difficult one for the guys with all the stairs and the narrow hallway. They were moving slow, but by God’s good provision, Casey was dismissed from work for the rest of the day and was there to help. Now 4 men + 2 trucks + trailer. With Casey’s help, they were able to finish 30 minutes ahead of schedule with minimal damage to the walls and furniture. More than I would like since I expected no dings and dents, but the movers were gone before Casey pointed out the damage to me. It wasn’t worth the trouble at that point, plus we were busy calling the company about our car and preparing to file an insurance claim.

Amazingly, we had made it through the move. We headed back to the old house for the final load. Casey and I loaded up the truck + trailer + my car. We made it back to the new house at about 7pm to meet our friends, Ryan and Pat, who were there to help. Ryan and Casey pushed hard to unload everything from the car + truck + trailer while Pat wiped down furniture and I vacuumed the furniture. Once all that was done we were too tired to unpack. We sent our friends home and that’s when we realized I hadn’t eaten, not good for a 9 month pregnant lady. We were on the hunt for peanut or almond butter so I could make a sandwich, but every kitchen box we opened proved to be the wrong one. Exhausted, I settled for a cup of applesauce, pudding and taking the spoon to the half gallon of sherbet. After I ate my wholesome dinner, we got cleaned up, Casey took an ice bath (the steps did a number on his legs), and we curled up in bed, half dead, for our first night in our new home. That’s when the smoke alarm started beeping. We did our best to fix it earlier that day and thought we had changed the batteries in the correct one, but apparently not, or the batteries died in another one. Unable to get it fixed and frankly, too tired to care. We slept through the beeping.

Saturday

I woke up Saturday morning to wide open windows and a beautiful view of the morning sun kissing the trees awake. I just laid there and stared at it until I knew I had to get us moving. Ryan and Susan were coming to help at 9am and I wanted us to have a breakfast date before then. We headed to Mama’s Java, snagged the two most comfortable chairs, enjoyed a delicious breakfast, good company, and some rest before the work began again.

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We could have sat there all day since the burden of boxes wasn’t staring us in the face anymore, but knowing help was on the way, we headed home. Ryan and Susan were an incredible help to us all morning long. By lunch time, the entire kitchen was unpacked and incredibly organized. I gave Susan free rein to organize everything while I tackled the pantry. She did an incredible job. Casey and Ryan headed off to pick up McDougals for lunch while Susan and I moved to the master bed and bath. Jodi had a couple hours so she came to join us working in the bathroom and then tackled unpacking all the decorations. A friend from high school did an amazing job helping get the baby’s room in order. Everyone was gone by the afternoon.

We planned to head to our friend’s baby’s 1st birthday party, but the cry of the remaining boxes kept us at home. Casey tackled the office while I wrapped up the bedroom. Then we moved on to miscellaneous items as we searched every box for something we needed to complete the office. So far no luck on that front. By 7pm my feet were in severe pain as I had gone barefoot all day. I was anxious to take a good shower and dry my hair now that my hair dryer was unpacked (it had been packed for weeks), so we called it a night. I showered, snuggled up to the foot massager, ate my PBJ and Casey and I watched a movie. I should say I watched a movie and Casey watched part of it while he drifted off to sleep. In bed by 10:30pm. Not bad.

Sunday

I woke up again at 6am to my beautiful view and couldn’t resist to urge to get up and write. Although I was briefly distracted by laundry, I made it outside with my pen and journal after loading one load of laundry and our sink with bleach and a shower curtain. It’s now 8:30 and Minny and I are still on the deck enjoying the morning.

Can I stay here all day? The laundry and boxes awaiting me inside say no, but the birds chirping and sight of my neighbor’s beautiful garden lure me to keep writing.

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Baby B seems to be enjoying the rest as well. I’m so thankful for his/her patince. It wasn’t just the move, but my doctor is out of town until Tuesday. Although I’m experiencing some new pains, I’m pretty sure those are just from the stress of all the work recently and Baby B is still patiently waiting for either my doctor to get back in town or his/her due date on Thursday.

Only 4 more days! It seems unreal. I’ve been doing so much to plan and prepare for the move, which I am very thankful for because it was all pretty uneventful, that I haven’t thought much about the fact that in less than 2 weeks I will hold my son/daughter in my arms. Maybe it’s because I’ve been so distracted by the move or maybe it’s just too abstract a thought for me to comprehend. Having all the babies here on Thursday had Baby B on my mind a lot more. I’m definitely ready to meet him or her, but I’m perfectly content waiting a little while longer until we are more settled in the house.

This time with just the two of us has really been nice. Although we’ve been busy we’ve gotten along really well considering the chaos. I think it’s partly because planning so well helped calm the storm and significantly reduce my stress, but also because Casey has been such as huge help and diligent worker. We haven’t been intentional about emotional connection per se, but we’ve been such good teammates that I have felt very supported and connected to Casey in the midst of all this.

Although it’s definitely for the best that Ashes is in GA for her graduation trip,  I miss her. I love seeing pictures and hearing how her trip is going. I know she is having an absolute blast, but I look forward to having her home and settled into the new house, hopefully before the baby comes.

Now that we are moved, I am really looking forward to this next phase in life in a new setting.

The Big Move – Part One

June 17, 2014 By: Shana1 Comment

We did it. It’s early Sunday morning. I woke up in our new house, calmed by the beautiful view out my window.

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Waking up to the sight of trees makes me feel like I’m on vacation. I pray that feeling never goes away. This week has been emotionally and physically exhausting, but I’m thankful that we made it through the move and Baby B decided to stay inside. It’s only through the power of prayer and the grace of God that we didn’t have this baby. I definitely haven’t been resting. In fact, I’ve been going non-stop from morning until night, reaching the point where I physically can’t stand on my feet anymore because they feel bruised to the bone. Although we’ve been packing here and there for months and spent the last few Saturdays packing all day, there was still plenty to be done this week, on top of coaching Ashlynne through finals and Casey wrapping up the end of the school year.

Wednesday

Wednesday was a big day for all of us. We started off the morning with Ashlynne’s 8th grade graduation ceremony. I held back tears thinking about how far she has come and overwhelmed with gratitude that I get to be such a big part of her life these days. All went well for the ceremony other than the fact that it was way too long and hot to boot. This pregnant lady was quite uncomfortable on those bleachers for all that time. Casey was able to get someone to cover his class so he could be there for Ashes and pass along a beautiful bouquet of flowers to her. There was a little reception afterwards that Casey had to miss, but I attended. I almost didn’t because, in true teenager fashion, Ashlynne was going to bail on me for her friends, but a little hormonal pregnancy tears kept her by side. After the reception I hurried to the bank to write that painful down payment check and then was off to the school to pick up Ashes and Casey for the closing on our new home.

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Other than some hiccups on the drive there and an issue with our home insurance, closing was flawless. Emelyn’s (Ashlynne’s best friend) dad, John Cook, was our closing attorney so Ashes enjoyed watching him in his element. John was extremely helpful and the closing flew by. The next thing we knew we had keys in hand and were headed to our new home to meet the painter.

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That afternoon we were busy getting the new house clean. Our friends, Pat, and the Baileys came over to help. We definitely couldn’t have done it without them. I definitely couldn’t have since Casey had to go back to work. By the end of the day we were exhausted, but the kitchen and most bathrooms were clean. The baseboards had been wiped down thanks to Ashes and I tackled the doors, door frames, and electrical/light switch plates throughout the house while Casey tackled the windows. Progress, but still much more to do!

Thursday

Thursday was the most chaotic of days. Casey spent the day at work so I was on my own in the morning trying to get Ashlynne to pack for her trip to GA and finish packing her room and bathroom for the move. Surprisingly, it was all done relatively close to the time I asked it to be done.

We headed to the house around 11 am to get started cleaning. Ashlynne tackled sweeping the deck and patios and even helped me finish cleaning the bathroom tub.

The rest of the day was this crazy combination of productivity and chaos. We had friends come to help – Emily, Annie, and Brittany. They did more than I could have imagined and pretty much tackled the remaining cleaning items. The chaotic part was the babies – 4 under the age of 20 months. Ashlynne did the best she could to watch them all, but it was nearly impossible for her to do on her own. I would help her in between cleaning and her friend, Madison, even came to help for a little bit. Our friend, Stan, also came over Thursday afternoon and spent an incredible amount of time outside in the heat. I’m not even sure what all he did, but I know that by the time he left my deck, patios and driveway were all more beautiful. By the afternoon, Ashlynne had left for GA and friends were heading home after a long day of sacrificial service.

Once work was done for Casey it was madness. The painter was finishing up just in time for the carpet cleaners to arrive. That’s when Casey showed up with about 3 students and a truck and trailer full of boxes. They started unloading into the dining room where I was sweeping and mopping. Once I saw Casey I let him know everything needed to go into the garage so it was out of the way for the movers. A little frustrating for all, but eventually all was unloaded in the right place.

Our friend, Ryan, showed up to help, but it was just in time for them all to pick up pizza and head back to the old home. I had been living off pizza since our kitchen was packed so I passed on that and stayed back at the new house by myself to finish up in prep for the big move on Friday. I planned to get a sandwich at the Feed Mill but showed up just a bit too late. I ended up back at sonic which was the only thing other than pizza that I had eaten recently. Not happy, I wanted to console myself with a strawberry shake. I headed back to the old home to eat and see what work the guys were doing, but showed up to find them all leisurely chatting on the front porch. Not pleased considering how long I had been working at the house. I filled my hands with my purse, food, and shake then set my shake down on the car as I spoke with Ryan. That’s when the final straw fell on the camel’s back. My shake, the strawberry shake that was going to be my 9 months pregnant indulgence after a tiring, frustrating days work, tipped over and poured down the front of the car. In tears, all I could get out was. “I’m just going to go in. I’m done.”

Seeing my emotional frailty, the boys and Ryan left, and Casey came in to comfort me. I vented about the exhausting chain of events and how hard I had been working etc. Although I was a wreck, Casey knew just what to do. He hugged me, apologized, offered to get me a new shake which I regretfully refused, and then Casey gave me the night off, well tried to at least.

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With movers coming the next morning there was still plenty to pack – laundry room, closets, etc. Everything needed to be packed and organized for the movers’ 8am arrival. Casey set me by the foot massager with my computer and told me to watch New Girl episodes. Instead, I knocked out some client work, but being off my feet was rest enough. I could hear how hard Casey was working downstairs, which made me reluctant to disturb him, but I knew there had to be plenty more to do. We were up until 11:30… still more to do, but no energy for it. We took a brief moment to recognize that this would be our last night in the only house we’ve ever known together and then drifted off to sleep.

Continued… Read Part Two!

 

Originally written May 25, 2014

Returning to Counseling

June 8, 2014 By: Shana1 Comment

Casey and I are back in counseling. If you’ve been reading my posts lately, I’m sure you’re not surprise. We’ve been struggling to find a good balance since Ashlynne moved in and it has weighed heavy on our marriage. As our counselor explained it, we missed out on the years where heaving a child brings you closer together and strengthens your love, building a strong foundation for the teenage years that often pull couples apart because they divide and conquer homework, shuttle service, and the other demands of active teens.

I suppose it just adds to our time apart that we are moving and about to have a baby. I get it, life can get chaotic, but at least there is an end to this chaos. In just 4 weeks, we will be settled in our new home and either ready for baby to arrive or settled in with baby. Ashlynne will be out of school and Casey all be off work for the summer. We are going to go from 60 to zero in just a matter of weeks. Okay, so maybe not quite zero, but it is sure going to feel that way in comparison.

Some would say Casey and I should just manage as best we can during chaos and then reconnect when it ends. Counseling is just something else on the schedule, right? I have to admit, I thought the same thing when Casey first suggested we return, but the truth is that life is inevitably chaotic. It’s the cliché roller coaster of ups and downs, flips, turns and loopty loops. This will not be our last moment of chaos in this life. We must learn to stay connected in chaos and not let it overtake us. I don’t know about you, but I want a great, connected marriage all the time, not just when life is easy. Plus, counseling is kind of like a date night – scheduled time for the two of us to connect on a weekly basis.

So in our first session back we talked about priorities. There’s our ideal and then what our priorities actually look like based on how we spend our time. It came as no surprise to us that we are living in an upside down triangle. But how do we right things, especially when it feels like everything at the base of our triangle (low priority) is a “must-do” as deadlines with baby, work, and the house weigh us down?

I suppose the key is starting small. Our goal for now is to try and have a consistent 10-15 minutes of devotional time as a family when we tuck Ashlynne in at night. This will ideally help us grow spiritually while fostering relationship with Ashlynne and intimacy with each other, all top priorities. 3 birds. One stone. I’m excited to see how this little step helps us slowly start focusing on what’s at the top of our triangle, even when everything at the bottom is demanding our time.

How do you make time for top priority items and not let the tasks of daily life weigh you down?

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Meet the Wife

Hi! I'm a semi-newlywed living in a small town outside of Nashville with my husband, Casey, our baby boy, teen niece, and hyperactive dog, Minny. I'm a new mom and marketing consultant at BeEngaging.com that loves Jesus and won't eat anything with 4 legs. I talk about marriage, pregnancy, parenting and everything in between. I believe real growth only happens through transparency. Join me on the journey. Read More…

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