Our Travels | Love Truthfully

How Do We Be Good Parents and Good Spouses?

March 31, 2014 By: Shana10 Comments

It’s been a joy having Ashlynne here. We all have adjusted surprisingly well to the transition. God’s the only one that can take the credit for that! He has blessed us with abundant grace during what could have been a very difficult time for all of us.

Ashlynne’s been busy with sleepovers, but we’ve tried to enjoy some games and fun as a family too. The trip to Arizona to visit Casey’s family really helped with that. It was fun to experience her first flight with her. We didn’t get to sit together, but we were close enough for me to keep an eye on her. She was quite the trooper!

I know she has a blast spending time with her aunts, uncles, and cousins. We all did, and the warm weather was a nice touch. Most of the time was spent just lying in the grass or relaxing by the pool and hot tub. We even got some basketball in while we were there. Although getting away at the last-minute like that left me more stressed at home, it was totally worth it!

The only real adjustment issue we’ve had with Ashlynne moving in has nothing to do with her and everything to do with me and Casey. We don’t know how to be good parents AND good spouses yet. What was our daily connection time has now been replaced with tuck Ashlynne in time. The intimate conversations or heated repairs we used to have on a regular basis are few and far between as we seldom have any privacy.

I’m thankful that we are at least aware of it though. We are talking about it when we can and want to come up with an intentional plan and schedule for emotional connection time. Hopefully these next two weekends will help because Ashlynne will be at camp and then visiting her mom. So Casey and I should have plenty of time to connect and come with a 2.0 game plan for connecting in our marriage.

If you’re a parent of a pre-teen or teen, I’d love to know how you stay connected with your spouse. Leave your advice in the comments!

No. We Are Not Honeymooners.

August 3, 2013 By: Shanacomment

Last night I was exhausted, but my mind wouldn’t let me rest. 11:00 – 11:15 – 11:30 – midnight. Dear Lord, please still my soul! All I could do was smile. Like a little kid the day before Disney World, I was giddy with excitement. The moment I closed my eyes, sights and sounds of what is to come filled my imagination. White sand. Clear water. Amazing views. Indulging in melt-in-your-mouth seafood. Yes, my soul knows what is coming.

The snails pace of the line to check our bags gives me plenty of time to people watch. Two couples are in line before us. One with her hair still wound in a bun, diamond studs in her ears that highlight the rhinestones on her stark white jacket – The Bride. A newly monogrammed bag hangs proudly on her shoulder. My eyes glide down to her ring finger. How lovely that wedding band must feel on her hand. I’m surprised or maybe I’m not, by what’s not on her hand. Her husband’s hand rests by his side. A boy really, but abruptly welcomed on his first day as a man. His eyes glazed over – maybe from lack of sleep or pure fear. I wouldn’t blame him for either. Welcome to your honeymoon young man.

Another couple just behind them are not quite so obvious. Older. Calmer. She didn’t get the monogram memo, but she’s sporting a cute, color block sundress and messy bun. Ah yes, there it is. A new bag with a giant C on it, right next to a shiny new ring and manicured nails. She gloats about her Martha Stewart wedding and fantastic dress over the phone. On the plane their infatuation oozes over into our aisle as he offers her his makeshift pillow. How sweet. They’re definitely honeymooners.

I wonder if they think we are honeymooners. Surely not. My worn out gaucho pants, long-sleeve t-shirt, disheveled hair and makeup-less face don’t exactly scream “I got married last night.” I’d like to think that had Casey and I taken a honeymoon trip, I would have been kind been kind enough to prepare a decent outfit and wear makeup. No need to smack him in the face with reality, right? The only thing that makes us look like honeymooners, besides our destination, is my shiny new ring. Deceiving. It’s a fake – a stand-in I bought at Claire’s last night so I don’t lose the real one at the beach. No. We are not honeymooners.

In the bathroom at the St. Lucia airport I’m surrounded by 3 proud ladies with bride and just married on their shirts. I pass two more on the way out with similar boasting on their tops. I should have worn an “I’ve survived 3 years” shirt. Next time.

We leave the airport – greeted by a wall of thick, sticky air that gives you beads of sweat before you even realize what’s hit you. We trudge through the heat and find a kind face waiting on us with a cold towel that smells of lavender and rosemary.
“Honeymooners?” She asks.

“No. We are not honeymooners,” I respond.

What I really want to say is, “Even better! We are lovers. Truly lovers. We are survivors – overcoming trials that end many marriages. We are celebrating 3 years of counseling. 3 years of hard work. 3 years of learning how to communicate. 3 years of learning how to love.”

After a windy drive, we arrive at the resort. Even a rum punch daiquiri couldn’t mask the feeling of herding cattle at checkin. While enjoying my fix-it-all drink, I fill out paperwork that asks what we are celebrating. I choose the most relevant – birthday and anniversary. Skipping over honeymoon. The hostess greets us, “is it your honeymoon?” Giving up, I jokingly reply, “it’s whatever it needs to be for us to get special treatment. Honeymoon, anniversary, birthday… all of it., but no, we are not honeymooners.”

Although they would never see it, our love is much stronger than any honeymooner has to offer. We aren’t celebrating a wedding, but a marriage. One that has been refined and strengthened over the last 3 years. We are celebrating all the conflict overcome, counseling completed, repairs made, healed hearts and newly discovered love. We are celebrating God’s mighty, marriage-saving work. A work that has left us more loving and more in love than we could have ever imagined on our first day as husband and wife. That’s what we’re celebrating.

Turquoise waves brush against the sand that’s beneath my feet. The radiant sun beams coat my skin. The smell of a new book and sunscreen calms my soul. The taste of a fruity drink on my lips relaxes my mind. My husband, my friend, by my side brings joy to my heart. Our long overdue, non-honeymoon celebration has begun.

Blessed and Stressed

July 15, 2013 By: Shanacomment

I must be honest. I am so stinkin’ stressed about all the things that need to be done before we leave for vacation. So stressed that I am hating that I am sitting here, wasting time writing about how stressed I am.

The work is piling on. That’s a blessing, right? Well consider me way blessed and way stressed. It’s not that I mind the work, but timing of everything is not ideal. However, I have been very productive with work the last few days. Neglected the home to dos though. Thankfully Casey has really stepped up around the house. I don’t know what it was that flipped the switch. Maybe it was seeing me almost in tears more often than ever before. Maybe the Holy Spirit knew I needed help and decided to provide it through my handsome husband. Whatever it is, I am thankful.

Now blessed, stressed and thankful.

I have truly felt loved by seeing Casey take initiative with the home task list. He hasn’t been bored either. In fact, he’s been quite busy himself – tutoring and prepping for a new school year. Even with all that he has going on, he has taken time to make sure I stop to eat and get a hug every now and then – forcing me to remember I am human and not just a machine cranking out marketing plans and emails all day. Even with his help there is still a lot left to do, but if I really think about it, I suppose there’s even more that has been done.

This may go on record as our most productive week ever, at least in the category of weeks we actually still liked each other in the end.

Thoughts and Lessons from Europe Mission Tour

April 14, 2013 By: Shanacomment

First off, I apologize for the delay in posting. No one could have predicted the chain of events that would come at the end of the Europe tour. Many of you know that I woke up with a terrible stomach flu on 4am the day of departure. We left our hosts in the Netherlands at 6:30am and arrived home to our husbands just before 5pm on Monday the 1st. I wouldn’t wish traveling with a stomach flu on anyone, but if it must happen, I hope you have someone as understanding and loving as Amy by your side. I’m so thankful for her strength and care for me. So I spent my first week back in bed with the stomach flu, but had an incredible husband to make sure the saltines, pedialyte and applesauce were always there when I needed them. I was finally feeling better on Thursday night, just in time for surgery on Friday to have a heart monitor implanted. I spent last week recovering from surgery and catching up on work, and then reconnected with my family at a mini-vacation at the lake this weekend. I know Casey is thankful to finally have his wife back instead of a patient!

One good thing about being sick is that I had a whole week in bed to process all that God did and is doing in Europe. Many of you that I’ve had the chance to talk to have asked me what I learned and saw during my time in Europe. Thankfully, Amy interviewed me the other day so I can share some of my thoughts with all of you. It’s a 20 minute video, which I know is long, but you can listen to it while you work. 🙂

Although it has taken us some time, the blog (http://amyjfields.com/blog/) has been updated with photos and video from the trip. There’s a short video update for almost every day that we were there. We will be filling in the gaps over the next week or so. We are so thankful to have the ability to share with you all as much as we have, but as someone that’s been there, I can tell you that I’ll never be able to fully communicate how powerful this trip was for us and those we had the pleasure of spending time with. If I could only take away 2 things from this trip it would be these…

1) Our God is AWESOME and is doing a mighty work in hearts and cities across the world. I am BEYOND THANKFUL to get to be a part of that work. I can be a part of that work every day if I allow myself to have eyes open to those around me and a heart and mind that are sensitive to the Holy Spirit’s (God’s) guidance.

2) My focus should always be Jesus, and my time alone with the Lord is precious and needed. The more I seek Him, the more of Himself He will reveal to me. I want to have an unquenchable thirst for God’s presence and His Word. I am blessed to know God and have His Word at my fingertips. Maybe that’s more than one, but when you go without quiet time for a while and see how passionate some folks are about Jesus and how little others know about Him, you can’t help but want more of Him, in every way.

I can’t thank you all enough for your support and prayers that made this trip possible. You’ll never know all the lives you’ve impacted, but I hope the blogs helps you feel more a part of all that went on. Please continue praying for our military and for the amazing, everyday missionaries that are in the midst of a spiritual battle to share the love of Christ and his transcending peace with all they encounter.

I look forward to getting back to posting more regularly!

Date Night Before Take Off

March 10, 2013 By: Shanacomment

So the trip to Europe is finally here. I’ve had very little sleep and don’t really see much in my future either. My body is drained, but my heart is full. I am so thankful for the time I’ve had to prepare for this trip and for the help my husband has been. In my last post I showed you a photo of the post-it notes that Casey had been scattering around the house. I’m sure you could have guessed it then, but they were all leading up to a date night.

Casey planned for us to have a night to ourselves on Friday before I hopped on the plane on Sunday morning. Sadly, Amy and I had planned to work just a couple of hours to prepare for the trip together. Ultimately, a meeting that was supposed to be done at 6:30 went on well past that into the 9:00 hour. Needless to say our date night didn’t happen. We ended up picking up pizza on the way home.

Saturday was my last day to prepare for the trip. Casey was gone all day at a men’s retreat for church. I was busy trying to get everything done that I could before he got home so we could have that date night. I also wanted to get a chance to tell my sweet grandmother happy 95th birthday so I made a stop by her place as well. Apparently I tried to do too much in one day because I wasn’t done packing when Casey got home. I was so thankful that he was willing to help me finish packing. We were scrambling to get everything together, take care of things around the house, and run all the errands that we needed to get done before I left. We packed as much as we could and then took off for the mall. I needed to get a pair of shoes for the trip, and an iPad for work. I had put off getting an iPad for way too long because I hate spending that kind of money, but with the encouragement of my wise husband, I finally made the decision to get one. Of course, I definitely needed one so I could keep my business running while I was gone. I digress. So we ran around the mall looking for the shoes I needed and barely made it into the Apple store before it closed. We weren’t done there. Off to Wal-mart for a few last minute items.

I know Casey was starving and so was I. It was late. Like after 9:00 again and we had still not had our date. We made it to J. Alexanders at around 9:30pm. FINALLY! Time to relax and connect before 3-weeks apart. I am so thankful that despite our exhaustion, we made time for each other. I loved getting those last few moments to share my heart about the trip and love on my husband one last time before I left.

After dinner we headed back home. Casey slept (somehow) while I stayed up way too late finishing my packing. Off to church the next morning. A little lunch with Amy and her husband, Clint, at Olive Garden. Then off to the airport. We are on our way!

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