10 Secret Facts for New Moms

August 6, 2014 By: Shana4 Comments

We all know that being the mom of a newborn is a special time, especially when it’s your first baby. Everyone talks about the precious coos and the gummy grins. You may even hear about the lack of sleep and crying, but there’s a lot of facts about becoming a new mom that you may not hear. Don’t worry. I’m hear to fill you in 🙂

Disclaimer: Do not read the below if you are on the fence about becoming a mom unless you have a solid sense of humor. Just read this. Motherhood is incredibly amazing and a truly joyful time. It’s so worth it, and you should start working on having that baby or adopting. Now close this page and get back to looking at cute baby photos on Facebook.

10 Secret Facts for New Moms

1. The moment your head hits the couch or the pillow for a nap, baby wakes up, and you suddenly feel 10x more tired than before you tried to nap.
2. An open diaper means you will get peed on, and that’s if you’re lucky. The not-so-lucky get a little more.
3. A fresh diaper means baby will poop, not matter how long you waited to change it. See my side note below.
4. No matter how hard you try to avoid it, someone will sneak a paci or a thumb in your baby’s mouth and there will be no going back.

5. When hot food hits your plate, baby will become desperate for milk, even if you strategically timed your last feeding to be right before dinner.
6. You will forget your nursing cover when you need it the most, and find yourself improvising with a blanket or even a burp cloth.
7. The moment you brag about you’re baby sleeping a long stretch at night, they will immediately stop and go back to getting up every 2 hours.
8. When you put on your last clean outfit that still fits, you will inevitably get pooped on right before you leave the house. That leaves you the options of staying home or going out in your PJs. (Sorry, Charlotte. I just couldn’t wear PJs to your shower.)

Yup. That totally happened on my last clean skirt just as I was about to leave.

9. At some point, you will end up sleeping on a towel over your sheets or just on the comforter because you’re too exhausted to change the sheets in the middle of the night after a pee or puke accident.
10. Even if your little boy is in all blue or baby girl is wearing the cutest bow, someone will repeatedly call him and her and her a him.

BONUS FACT: Driving as a new mom may be more dangerous than driving drunk. Lack of sleep + cute baby in rearview mirror = extrememly reckless driver!

Side Note: I stopped in the middle of this blog post to go change Silas who had been unsuccessfully trying to poo for the last hour. The moment the clean diaper hit his bottom… before I could even get it closed, you guessed it, he had a blow out. Fact #3 in action right there.

I’m sure there are lots of facts that I’ve left off the list. I’d love for you to share yours in the comments!

The Loneliness & Isolation of First-Time Motherhood

July 28, 2014 By: Shanacomment

Being a new mom is a brave new world and no matter how much advice and help you have, it still feels like you’re facing it alone. You alone bear the title of “Mom.” You are your baby’s source of life, his source of comfort. And it’s overwhelming.

You’ve anticipated the arrival of this little bundle of joy, but nothing prepares you for your new reality. Your needs and desires are sitting on a shelf for a while. You have one priority and one priority only, and that’s taking care of baby. We’re talking survival mode.

A good day consists of making sure you get to eat at least two meals, don’t pass out from exhaustion, and as far as you know, baby is well fed and has been changed a few times. Answering emails? Responding to phone calls? There’s no time. You barely have time for your spouse, much less anyone else. Your capacity for emotional connection is drained, likely every 2 hours or so, by the most precious life you’ve ever seen.

Ironically, this loneliness may be a time when you’re around more people than you have been in a while. But even though family is in town, they’re likely in survival mode too. You’re new 24/7 job means you have little time, if any, for laundry, cooking, cleaning, shopping or anything else that doesn’t directly contribute to baby’s survival. That’s where their energy goes. They offer practical support and may even attempt emotional support, but it’s just not connecting.

Friends stop by to drop off food and cuddle your little one. You smile and try your best to find your way out of the fog so you can carry on a decent conversation. It’s sad really. You’ve looked forward to a new face walking into your cave of a home all day long, but once they arrive, you realize how exhausting it is just having company. If baby’s asleep, you’re missing time to sleep, shower, or get something else accomplished. If baby’s awake, you’re likely struggling to figure out that nursing cover or hiding in another room altogether. You crave the company, but your mind and body aren’t prepared to handle it.

Even those that have been through this phase before, those that know it well, even they aren’t able to meet you there. Not now. They’ve seen the other side. They know there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. They’ve felt the warmth of it on their skin. You haven’t. For all you know, that light has been permanently squelched.

So we hold out hope that the light isn’t squelched. Although deep down we know our reality will never be the same, we will never be the same, we pray there’s a chance that one day soon we will rise from this strangely dark, yet delightful place to reenter and reconnect with the world around us. And hopefully, we’ll have had a chance to shower by then. 😉

Praying with you.

Shana

Motherhood: A New Perspective on Productivity

July 21, 2014 By: Shana1 Comment

You’re a new mom. You live under a new schedule, one you can’t control. Make whatever plans you like for your day or even the next hour, but beware that your baby’s hunger supersedes any of your plans. All it takes is one hungry squeal from his lips for my body to go into feeding mode, pulling me away from whatever I might be trying to accomplish. It’s like babies have productivity radar. The moment you sit down to fold that load of laundry or write that quick work email, baby awakes from his deep slumber like he hasn’t eaten in days. Even if you wanted to ignore his cry for a moment so you could mark one teeny thing of your list, the ache in your body caused by his precious cry grabs all of your attention.

Say what? Not me, Mom!

Your to do list grows and grows, and if you’re like me, the lack of checks at the end of the day leaves you feeling disappointed. But if I’m honest with myself, I should realize I’m not going to get that report done for my client when I can’t even finish a load of laundry in a day. Sure, I make plans for when he is sleeping, but I’ll get distracted with things not on my list like, I don’t know, eating. I tend to forget to do that unless my husband brings a plate and sits it in front of me. Oh yeah. That is another feeding queue for baby. Anytime hot food hits a plate my little one decides he’s hungry, no matter how I try to strategically plan feeding times. I’ve tried feeding at the table during dinner, but I still can’t get settled and eat fast enough to enjoy a hot meal.

And then there’s sleep. I’m not sure when that’s supposed to happen. I never plan for it, but always end up there at some point in the day. I suppose I just push it off, focusing on that joke of a to do list, until my head is quite literally too heavy to hold up. They say sleep when the baby sleeps, but if you do that, you’d never get anything done. When do you eat? Go to the bathroom? Take a shower? Shower. One of those sure would be nice. You know you’re a new mom when you can’t remember how many days it’s been since you last showered, but you know exactly how many wet diapers your baby has had and how long they last fed on which boob. Priority shift.

Even though I’m not quite adjusted to this new world order, I’m slowly learning, with the help of my husband, that my new job is being a mom to baby. My new to do list is feeding 10-12 times a day, making sure he burps, rocking him to sleep, comforting his cries, and somewhere in there, feeding myself. My new measure of success is my son’s weight gain which, by the way, has been quite impressive!

Even though God is slowly giving me a new perspective on productivity, I’m still struggling to truly embrace this new job description and the success metrics that come with it. I mean, how many jobs can one have? It’s clear that baby is my #1 job, but what about all those other roles I play? Mom, wife, aunt, friend, daughter, writer, and the big one, company owner :-/

How do I be everything to baby right now, and still have something left for myself, my family and my job, the one that pays the bills? It’s overwhelming and quite frankly, it seems impossible. No, it is impossible. I’m just going to have to accept the fact that lots of to dos will not get done. My house will be dirty. I will eat cereal more than I like. My husband will be neglected. Birthday parties will be missed. New clients will have to wait. And the list goes on. But this season is only temporary and order will be restored soon. Or at least that’s what I’m going to tell myself.

My Initiation into Motherhood

July 4, 2014 By: Shanacomment

The first few days as parents were quite a joy and even more humorous. It didn’t take long for me to be initiated into the world of being a mommy to a little boy.

The first night at home we decided Casey would do nighttime diapers since I was covering feedings (that ultimately didn’t work by the way). In the middle of the night Silas started to spit up while Casey was changing him. Casey panicked and quickly passed him to me like a hot potato. I don’t know if Silas got scared or if the open air got to him, but he started peeing mid-handoff. Our sheets and comforter were soaked. We changed his clothes and our sheets then found blankets to replace our comforter… all at 3am.

That was just the beginning of our initiation.

The weather was more than pleasant so we spent a lot of time on the back deck in the fresh air. While we were outside, momma brilliantly decided Silas was due for a bath. It was just going to be a quick wipe-down with a wet washcloth. Not quick enough. That was the first time he peed all over me, and himself for that matter. So far, Casey was in the clear, but that night he pooed while daddy was changing him. Luckily daddy had a wipe in his hand and was able to catch it. Close, but again, daddy stayed dry.

Right before he peed on me

The next night I changed his diaper and clothes 3 times in 15 minutes, seriously. He kept peeing and pooing as I changed him, messing his clothes and the fresh diaper. That was also the night I thought he had peed through his diaper when I discovered his pajamas were soaked near the top of his diaper. However, I soon realized it was milk leakage from my other boob from when he was nursing. Didn’t know THAT was possible. Awkward.

If the poo and pee episodes weren’t initiation enough, the next night I experienced volcano-like vomit for the first time. I was surprised his tiny belly could hold all that spewed from his nose and mouth. Well, I guess it really couldn’t.

Since these initial episodes he’s peed through his diaper onto my lap, peed on me multiple times during changing, and yes, the other day he pooed on me while I was changing him. For some reason I decided to change him quickly on my lap instead of his changing pad. He must have known. It was the first time I had done that so of course he decided to have projectile poo the moment I removed his diaper. Poo on my shirt. Yuck.

I know you’re wondering, “so when did Casey get his initiation?” That’s just it. So far he’s uninitiated! How unfair is that? I like to think that Silas is just saving up a big one for him. We shall see.

Despite all the messiness, it’s been pretty fun. Sounds weird, but it’s partly because we are doing it together. We’re tackling it as a team which makes it easier and draws us closer together as a couple. Plus, pees and poos are exciting because that means he is feeding well which is super important with how low his birth weight was.

So when I’m holding him and suddenly feel a hot liquid in my lap, or when I’m changing him and quickly duck and cover to avoid the flood, I can’t help but smile because all this reminds me that I’m officially momma to a healthy, beautiful little boy.

Did I just say getting peed on is fun? Oh brother. Yup. I’m officially a momma.

Our Hospital Adventure with Silas

June 27, 2014 By: Shana1 Comment

Read the birth story first.

We soaked in our baby’s presence for the next hour before we let anyone else touch him. We even waited to tell friends and family that he had arrived, just absorbing the moment with the 3 of us. He was so quiet, yet so alert for a newborn. He didn’t really fuss, not even when he was first delivered, and was fine with waiting to eat while I cuddled him. My heart was immediately overflowing with love for our Silas. I soaked up skin-to-skin time for what must have been an hour before feeding him. Then daddy took on skin-to-skin time while I talked with the doctors and nurses and they adjusted all my monitors and wires. Now THAT is one of the most precious memories!

After an hour or so, Silas got his first checkup. He weighed in at just 6 lbs 2 oz and measured 19 inches. Everything else looked fantastic from head to toe. They were a little concerned that he was so small considering he was past his due date, but I was quite thankful for his size. It made delivery very easy! He did have one temperature drop that landed him a spot under the warmer for a bit, but I’m pretty sure that was just because mommy spent a little too much time admiring him after a diaper change. Other than that he was perfectly healthy and handsome 🙂 He definitely has my hair and lips, but the rest seems to be all daddy who, by the way, was a champ at the hospital changing diapers when I wasn’t feeding. Speaking of, Silas took to breastfeeding really well. So well in fact, he enjoyed eating so much momma barely got a break.

Mommy on the other hand wasn’t quite as healthy as baby Silas. I had experienced a couple drops in blood pressure and an irregular heart rhythm that earned me an extra 12 hours of monitoring. They apparently don’t have that sophisticated equipment in the postpartum rooms which meant we’d remain in our labor and delivery room the rest of they day until I was cleared. That wasn’t such a bad deal, except for the sounds of labor that surrounded us. Let’s just say not all women have a pain-free birth like I did.

It wasn’t too long before my mom and stepdad arrived. They had hit the road that morning thinking that Silas would arrive that night or the next day, like we all did. I’m sure they were excited that the wait was over and they got to head straight to the hospital to meet their grandson. They cuddled and nuzzled him, absorbing the joy of new life. I’m sure they wanted to stay all day, but they knew they’d be with him for a week so they headed home to get settled in.

Not too long after they left one of my sisters arrived with her husband and 2 of her 4 kids. Unfortunately, the youngest, Nate, was too young to be in the labor & delivery area. Pam, Gino, and Sophia got to meet Silas though. Pam was super excited. Even though she has nieces and nephews that she loves dearly, Silas is her first blood niece or nephew. There’s something special about that.

The rest of the time was not quite as ideal. Unfortunately, my epidural was so good I was numb for 13 hours after labor. More unfortunately, they had already removed my catheter from labor, assuming I wouldn’t be numb much longer. They kept coming in to get me up to go to the bathroom and each time my legs wouldn’t lift front the bed, no matter how hard I tried. That left me with lots of uncomfortable moments and feeling pretty helpless. In fact, I was still stuck in bed when they removed all my monitors. By the time I could walk again, my tailbone was bruised from the labor and delivery bed, not meant for a long-term visit. Thankfully they brought in a new, more comfortable bed before we shut down for the night.

Although we were supposed to move into a postpartum room, by the time they were done monitoring me, all those rooms were full so they kept us in L&D. At least that was the plan. If the constant rotation of nurses and doctors, plus feeding and diaper changing weren’t exhausting enough, they came in at 3am and said the L&D rooms were full and we had to move. It was quite funny watching Casey try and rise from his slumber to pack everything while I was stuck in bed. Eventually everything was packed and they dragged us across the hospital to an overflow room which was essentially a daytime operating room with no window. Tiny, even though they said they gave us the biggest one. I immediately started asking when we could go home. They kept giving us hoops to jump through. I would need to pass another round of blood work, Silas would need a certain number of wet diapers, and he’d have to pass his 24-hour doctor appointment.

Post by Shana Lynn Bresnahan.

Although we should have stayed for 3 days, we passed all the tests with flying colors and were discharged just 26 hours after Silas was born. I just couldn’t wait to get home and get our family settled in. Plus, my 13 hours of numbness and all the monitors had prevented me from being able to shower. Let’s just say I’ve never needed a good dousing of water as bad as I did by the time I arrived home.

A short bath and a nice long shower later and I finally felt like myself again, but nothing like myself at the same time. More to come 🙂

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