It’s 6am on Mother’s Day, my first Mother’s Day as a mom. Baby B must have been anxious to start the celebration because he/she woke me up about an hour ago and hasn’t stopped demanding my attention since. Maybe Baby is frustrated that he/she is still stuck in my belly on this special day. I’m on the fence about that. I’m a little over 37 weeks now and although I can’t wait to hold our little bundle of joy in my arms, there are a couple of reasons I’m fine with him/her staying a while longer, despite the pain these tiny feet and elbows are causing me.
I know the “right” thing to say is that I understand that every day Baby spends in the womb is another important day of growth and development, but let’s be honest here. The idea of Baby B getting any bigger makes me shutter. The real reason I’m pretty content with Baby B holding on a few more weeks has everything to do with our move. We close on our house in 10 days and move in 12. Although we are prepared for Baby B to arrive in the chaos, and somewhat expect that if God has a sense of humor he/she will arrive while we are signing papers, I’m still holding out hope that we will be settled into our new home before Baby B arrives.
I don’t think coming on the assigned due date is too much to ask. I mean that’s how these things work, right? The doctors say you’re due on the 29th, in 18 days, so you have to wait until then. We shall see how obedient this little one is 🙂
Mother’s Day is also special this year because Ashlynne is more like a daughter to me than ever before. I’m missing her this morning as she is spending the weekend with her mom. Last night after I was already starting to drift to sleep after a long day of packing, she Facetimed me. It was late and we hadn’t really talked since she left on Friday so I immediately answered. Apparently it was just time for a late night fashion show of the new clothes her mom bought her. Although exhausted, I oohed and ahhed at her new wardrobe as we chatted about what she had been doing all weekend. As we said our I love you’s and I drifted back into the darkness, I thought abut how much my love for her has grown as I’ve watched her mature and thrive over the last 4 months. She is truly becoming a beautiful and strong young lady. Although I have no desire to nor will I ever replace her mother, I feel truly blessed and honored to be able to help fill that role over the next 4 years of her life. Being her “mom” is a gift beyond measure. I pray that during the difficult times I’m reminded of that and take a moment to appreciate the unexpected blessing of this beautiful “daughter.”
Although this Mother’s Day is special for its own reasons, I look forward to next year when birthing and raising a newborn gives me a new perspective on just how amazing my superhero mom is. I’ve always appreciated who my mom was to me, her strength, boldness, and unfailing compassion, but I think I’ve never fully understood what it’s like to raise a child from infancy enough to have my appreciation for her grow. I’m excited that “thank you mom” and “I love you mom” will be that much more rich in meaning as I enter into a world that she has known and loved for over 30 years, despite the pain it has caused her. Yes, next Mother’s Day the word MOM will have a whole new meaning for me.Originally written on May 11, 2014.