Before I really had time to celebrate our pregnancy, I received a call from my sister, Felicia. It was clear that she was upset, and I could hear Ashlynne, my niece, in the background.
“Ashlynne’s been having a hard time at school and wants to move up there over Christmas.”
Whoa! We were expecting her in July, but December is just a couple months away. I spent almost 30 minutes on the phone with Felicia and with Ashlynne . I was heartbroken to hear what her teachers had been saying to her and the struggles she’s currently going through. We talked about not running from our problems, rising above, and even the permanency of such a decision. Ultimately, I told Ashlynne that we would welcome her with open arms if they decided coming sooner would be best for her, and then left them to spend more time thinking and talking about it as a family.
When I got off the phone I sat in shock. It was just two days before that I told Casey on our drive to church that I felt God was telling me “storm” was coming. Part of me wondered if it was just my pessimism on display, but I was almost certain that God had laid it on my heart that this special time of growth and intimacy with Him I had experienced over the last few months was in preparation for a trying time – like boot camp before battle. I’m sure Casey thought I was crazy at the time, but who’s the crazy one now?!
I sit here in this chair just two days later – a mom-to-be with a baby AND a teenager on the way. Yet I’m not panicking. There aren’t tears streaming down my face, although I am sure they will come. Instead, I’m at peace, excited even. I’m confident that God is in control, and I’m looking forward to the possibility of having more time with Ashlynne. I’m excited to be pregnant… and expecting. Maybe I am a crazy, but if that’s true, Casey is too.
When Casey got home from work we just laughed and surprisingly kept our calm. He had the same peace that God had granted me. I think knowing that God has been preparing us for this moment has brought us that peace. It has to be from Him because the moment I let my mind take over I begin to worry about room for our new additions and finances. But I’m confident God has us in the palm of His hand amidst the chaos, and because of that, we get to set fear aside and let excitement and peace reign.
Bring it on!
Originally written on September 17, 2013