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No. We Are Not Honeymooners.

August 3, 2013 By: Shanacomment

Last night I was exhausted, but my mind wouldn’t let me rest. 11:00 – 11:15 – 11:30 – midnight. Dear Lord, please still my soul! All I could do was smile. Like a little kid the day before Disney World, I was giddy with excitement. The moment I closed my eyes, sights and sounds of what is to come filled my imagination. White sand. Clear water. Amazing views. Indulging in melt-in-your-mouth seafood. Yes, my soul knows what is coming.

The snails pace of the line to check our bags gives me plenty of time to people watch. Two couples are in line before us. One with her hair still wound in a bun, diamond studs in her ears that highlight the rhinestones on her stark white jacket – The Bride. A newly monogrammed bag hangs proudly on her shoulder. My eyes glide down to her ring finger. How lovely that wedding band must feel on her hand. I’m surprised or maybe I’m not, by what’s not on her hand. Her husband’s hand rests by his side. A boy really, but abruptly welcomed on his first day as a man. His eyes glazed over – maybe from lack of sleep or pure fear. I wouldn’t blame him for either. Welcome to your honeymoon young man.

Another couple just behind them are not quite so obvious. Older. Calmer. She didn’t get the monogram memo, but she’s sporting a cute, color block sundress and messy bun. Ah yes, there it is. A new bag with a giant C on it, right next to a shiny new ring and manicured nails. She gloats about her Martha Stewart wedding and fantastic dress over the phone. On the plane their infatuation oozes over into our aisle as he offers her his makeshift pillow. How sweet. They’re definitely honeymooners.

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I wonder if they think we are honeymooners. Surely not. My worn out gaucho pants, long-sleeve t-shirt, disheveled hair and makeup-less face don’t exactly scream “I got married last night.” I’d like to think that had Casey and I taken a honeymoon trip, I would have been kind been kind enough to prepare a decent outfit and wear makeup. No need to smack him in the face with reality, right? The only thing that makes us look like honeymooners, besides our destination, is my shiny new ring. Deceiving. It’s a fake – a stand-in I bought at Claire’s last night so I don’t lose the real one at the beach. No. We are not honeymooners.

In the bathroom at the St. Lucia airport I’m surrounded by 3 proud ladies with bride and just married on their shirts. I pass two more on the way out with similar boasting on their tops. I should have worn an “I’ve survived 3 years” shirt. Next time.

We leave the airport – greeted by a wall of thick, sticky air that gives you beads of sweat before you even realize what’s hit you. We trudge through the heat and find a kind face waiting on us with a cold towel that smells of lavender and rosemary.
“Honeymooners?” She asks.

“No. We are not honeymooners,” I respond.

What I really want to say is, “Even better! We are lovers. Truly lovers. We are survivors – overcoming trials that end many marriages. We are celebrating 3 years of counseling. 3 years of hard work. 3 years of learning how to communicate. 3 years of learning how to love.”

After a windy drive, we arrive at the resort. Even a rum punch daiquiri couldn’t mask the feeling of herding cattle at checkin. While enjoying my fix-it-all drink, I fill out paperwork that asks what we are celebrating. I choose the most relevant – birthday and anniversary. Skipping over honeymoon. The hostess greets us, “is it your honeymoon?” Giving up, I jokingly reply, “it’s whatever it needs to be for us to get special treatment. Honeymoon, anniversary, birthday… all of it., but no, we are not honeymooners.”

Although they would never see it, our love is much stronger than any honeymooner has to offer. We aren’t celebrating a wedding, but a marriage. One that has been refined and strengthened over the last 3 years. We are celebrating all the conflict overcome, counseling completed, repairs made, healed hearts and newly discovered love. We are celebrating God’s mighty, marriage-saving work. A work that has left us more loving and more in love than we could have ever imagined on our first day as husband and wife. That’s what we’re celebrating.

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Turquoise waves brush against the sand that’s beneath my feet. The radiant sun beams coat my skin. The smell of a new book and sunscreen calms my soul. The taste of a fruity drink on my lips relaxes my mind. My husband, my friend, by my side brings joy to my heart. Our long overdue, non-honeymoon celebration has begun.

Casey Celebrates My Last Day of Work

March 3, 2012 By: Shana1 Comment

Wednesday was my last day of work at Vanderbilt. Casey and I have been so busy working double-time the last few months that we haven’t really stopped to celebrate us taking this big leap of faith. After I finished work on Wednesday, my colleagues took me out for a goodbye happy hour. I hadn’t heard from Casey all day so I called him on my way to Yolos. This is the point where I should have kept my mouth shut.

I was starting to feel sad that Casey hadn’t done anything to celebrate me leaving my job. I knew that if we went on for a few days without any celebration that bitterness and resentment would rise up in me. I wanted to make the covert overt and share my hidden expectations. I told Casey how important this day was to me and how I’d be pretty upset if I didn’t get a card or dinner or something. He agreed and said he’d take care of it.

An hour later, he was surprising me at the restaurant with a poem on a card. When I left the restaurant, I had another card with another poem on my dashboard. I had an inkling that there would be something waiting on me when I arrived home. I pulled into the garage to find the door to the house decorated with streamers.

“Congratulations” and “caution” were written on the streamers. A bottle of wine and another card were on the steps. I opened the door to find balloons from floor to ceiling with streamers.

After popping one with the door, I understood the warnings. Each balloon had something written on it. Bible verses about God’s provision or steps of faith, reasons I left my job, things I’ll have more time for, and so many more words that melted my heart. He wasn’t done.

I got to the kitchen to find a bottle of champagne and a present – Quitter by Jon Acuff (Minny decided to eat this one already) and Entreleadership by Dave Ramsey.

I went down to my neighbor’s house to watch their two little boys (another story in itself). Casey showed up from his basketball game later with dinner and another gift.

In true Casey fashion, he gave me binaca and after bite. Binaca to eliminate my “I haven’t brushed my teeth so I can’t kiss you” excuse. The after bite for the bug bites I’ll get, you know, with all that working outside this spring. Clever. There was also another note. The envelope read “Don’t open until 6am March 6th.” Apparently there’s a date night on the calendar.

The best part? When I called Casey to tell him about my desire for a little something to celebrate, he was in the store buying balloons. He had been planning this for weeks and had secretly taken the day off to not only try and fight off his cold, but to prepare this surprise. I felt so loved and celebrated, and of course, wished I had never said anything to him. But this is more evidence of how far we have come. A year ago Casey never would have planned something like this, and I never would have been so proactively honest about my needs. I love seeing the fruit of God’s work in our lives.

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Meet the Wife

Hi! I'm a semi-newlywed living in a small town outside of Nashville with my husband, Casey, our baby boy, teen niece, and hyperactive dog, Minny. I'm a new mom and marketing consultant at BeEngaging.com that loves Jesus and won't eat anything with 4 legs. I talk about marriage, pregnancy, parenting and everything in between. I believe real growth only happens through transparency. Join me on the journey. Read More…

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