parenting | Love Truthfully

My Initiation into Motherhood

July 4, 2014 By: Shanacomment

The first few days as parents were quite a joy and even more humorous. It didn’t take long for me to be initiated into the world of being a mommy to a little boy.

The first night at home we decided Casey would do nighttime diapers since I was covering feedings (that ultimately didn’t work by the way). In the middle of the night Silas started to spit up while Casey was changing him. Casey panicked and quickly passed him to me like a hot potato. I don’t know if Silas got scared or if the open air got to him, but he started peeing mid-handoff. Our sheets and comforter were soaked. We changed his clothes and our sheets then found blankets to replace our comforter… all at 3am.

That was just the beginning of our initiation.

The weather was more than pleasant so we spent a lot of time on the back deck in the fresh air. While we were outside, momma brilliantly decided Silas was due for a bath. It was just going to be a quick wipe-down with a wet washcloth. Not quick enough. That was the first time he peed all over me, and himself for that matter. So far, Casey was in the clear, but that night he pooed while daddy was changing him. Luckily daddy had a wipe in his hand and was able to catch it. Close, but again, daddy stayed dry.

Right before he peed on me

The next night I changed his diaper and clothes 3 times in 15 minutes, seriously. He kept peeing and pooing as I changed him, messing his clothes and the fresh diaper. That was also the night I thought he had peed through his diaper when I discovered his pajamas were soaked near the top of his diaper. However, I soon realized it was milk leakage from my other boob from when he was nursing. Didn’t know THAT was possible. Awkward.

If the poo and pee episodes weren’t initiation enough, the next night I experienced volcano-like vomit for the first time. I was surprised his tiny belly could hold all that spewed from his nose and mouth. Well, I guess it really couldn’t.

Since these initial episodes he’s peed through his diaper onto my lap, peed on me multiple times during changing, and yes, the other day he pooed on me while I was changing him. For some reason I decided to change him quickly on my lap instead of his changing pad. He must have known. It was the first time I had done that so of course he decided to have projectile poo the moment I removed his diaper. Poo on my shirt. Yuck.

I know you’re wondering, “so when did Casey get his initiation?” That’s just it. So far he’s uninitiated! How unfair is that? I like to think that Silas is just saving up a big one for him. We shall see.

Despite all the messiness, it’s been pretty fun. Sounds weird, but it’s partly because we are doing it together. We’re tackling it as a team which makes it easier and draws us closer together as a couple. Plus, pees and poos are exciting because that means he is feeding well which is super important with how low his birth weight was.

So when I’m holding him and suddenly feel a hot liquid in my lap, or when I’m changing him and quickly duck and cover to avoid the flood, I can’t help but smile because all this reminds me that I’m officially momma to a healthy, beautiful little boy.

Did I just say getting peed on is fun? Oh brother. Yup. I’m officially a momma.

Our Hospital Adventure with Silas

June 27, 2014 By: Shana1 Comment

Read the birth story first.

We soaked in our baby’s presence for the next hour before we let anyone else touch him. We even waited to tell friends and family that he had arrived, just absorbing the moment with the 3 of us. He was so quiet, yet so alert for a newborn. He didn’t really fuss, not even when he was first delivered, and was fine with waiting to eat while I cuddled him. My heart was immediately overflowing with love for our Silas. I soaked up skin-to-skin time for what must have been an hour before feeding him. Then daddy took on skin-to-skin time while I talked with the doctors and nurses and they adjusted all my monitors and wires. Now THAT is one of the most precious memories!

After an hour or so, Silas got his first checkup. He weighed in at just 6 lbs 2 oz and measured 19 inches. Everything else looked fantastic from head to toe. They were a little concerned that he was so small considering he was past his due date, but I was quite thankful for his size. It made delivery very easy! He did have one temperature drop that landed him a spot under the warmer for a bit, but I’m pretty sure that was just because mommy spent a little too much time admiring him after a diaper change. Other than that he was perfectly healthy and handsome 🙂 He definitely has my hair and lips, but the rest seems to be all daddy who, by the way, was a champ at the hospital changing diapers when I wasn’t feeding. Speaking of, Silas took to breastfeeding really well. So well in fact, he enjoyed eating so much momma barely got a break.

Mommy on the other hand wasn’t quite as healthy as baby Silas. I had experienced a couple drops in blood pressure and an irregular heart rhythm that earned me an extra 12 hours of monitoring. They apparently don’t have that sophisticated equipment in the postpartum rooms which meant we’d remain in our labor and delivery room the rest of they day until I was cleared. That wasn’t such a bad deal, except for the sounds of labor that surrounded us. Let’s just say not all women have a pain-free birth like I did.

It wasn’t too long before my mom and stepdad arrived. They had hit the road that morning thinking that Silas would arrive that night or the next day, like we all did. I’m sure they were excited that the wait was over and they got to head straight to the hospital to meet their grandson. They cuddled and nuzzled him, absorbing the joy of new life. I’m sure they wanted to stay all day, but they knew they’d be with him for a week so they headed home to get settled in.

Not too long after they left one of my sisters arrived with her husband and 2 of her 4 kids. Unfortunately, the youngest, Nate, was too young to be in the labor & delivery area. Pam, Gino, and Sophia got to meet Silas though. Pam was super excited. Even though she has nieces and nephews that she loves dearly, Silas is her first blood niece or nephew. There’s something special about that.

The rest of the time was not quite as ideal. Unfortunately, my epidural was so good I was numb for 13 hours after labor. More unfortunately, they had already removed my catheter from labor, assuming I wouldn’t be numb much longer. They kept coming in to get me up to go to the bathroom and each time my legs wouldn’t lift front the bed, no matter how hard I tried. That left me with lots of uncomfortable moments and feeling pretty helpless. In fact, I was still stuck in bed when they removed all my monitors. By the time I could walk again, my tailbone was bruised from the labor and delivery bed, not meant for a long-term visit. Thankfully they brought in a new, more comfortable bed before we shut down for the night.

Although we were supposed to move into a postpartum room, by the time they were done monitoring me, all those rooms were full so they kept us in L&D. At least that was the plan. If the constant rotation of nurses and doctors, plus feeding and diaper changing weren’t exhausting enough, they came in at 3am and said the L&D rooms were full and we had to move. It was quite funny watching Casey try and rise from his slumber to pack everything while I was stuck in bed. Eventually everything was packed and they dragged us across the hospital to an overflow room which was essentially a daytime operating room with no window. Tiny, even though they said they gave us the biggest one. I immediately started asking when we could go home. They kept giving us hoops to jump through. I would need to pass another round of blood work, Silas would need a certain number of wet diapers, and he’d have to pass his 24-hour doctor appointment.

Post by Shana Lynn Bresnahan.

Although we should have stayed for 3 days, we passed all the tests with flying colors and were discharged just 26 hours after Silas was born. I just couldn’t wait to get home and get our family settled in. Plus, my 13 hours of numbness and all the monitors had prevented me from being able to shower. Let’s just say I’ve never needed a good dousing of water as bad as I did by the time I arrived home.

A short bath and a nice long shower later and I finally felt like myself again, but nothing like myself at the same time. More to come 🙂

Welcome Silas Graham Bresnahan

June 23, 2014 By: Shana1 Comment

It’s 6:30 in the morning. The house, although full of family, is silent except for the slow sweet breaths and occasional squeak of MY SON. Pen in my right hand and my precious sleeping son in my left, this is what dreams are made of.

Silas Graham Bresnahan was born on Saturday, May 31, 2014 at 9:59 am in the morning. He weighed 6 lbs 2 oz and was 19 inches long. He is my little miracle and melts my heart with every coo and sigh.

I look forward to sharing our birth story with you later this week. In the meantime, join me in welcoming our son, Silas.

Forced to Write: Catching up on life

May 19, 2014 By: Shanacomment

I’m being forced to journal and get a foot massage. Casey literally just pulled me off my computer and over to the couch with pen, journal and ice cream in hand. Then he took my boots off and stuck my feet in the foot massager.

If you haven’t noticed, I’ve been neglecting writing lately, which means I’ve been neglecting my soul. I was doing great for a while there. I had committed to 15 minutes or 3 pages of writing every day for Lent, but sadly, life got in the way. That’s a polite way of saying it. I suppose 3^rd trimester, plus moving prep, plus bronchitis, plus new clients all got together at the same time and hit me like a Mac truck. I did a terrible job of protecting my writing time and didn’t feel right about stealing time to write, stealing time for me, when I would look at my to do list and see how behind I was each day.

Even now as I try to write, life is getting in the way. I just got interrupted with a text about the softball banquet for Ashlynne’s team. Did I forget to mention I’m coordinating all the volunteers for that? As soon as I responded and picked up my pen again Ashes came up here to chat. It never stops and it will only get crazier once baby gets here.

That could be soon! In just 2.5 weeks I’ll be 2 weeks away from my due date AND it will be a full moon. If baby wants to come early, Mother Nature will be more than happy to help. Early wouldn’t be too bad. It’s on time that worries me. We close on our house the 21^st, move the 23^rd, and baby is due the 29^th. So 2 weeks early or due date and beyond is okay. Not too much to ask, right?

Baby has really been fun lately. The hiccups are a little annoying, but cute at the same time. Casey put his head on my belly to listen to them the other day. It was precious. Everything has changed in the last couple of days. I have pelvic and lower back pain whenever I’m standing, baby’s kicks are super painful, and my calves and feet hurt from swelling. I went to the doctor today and they said all was normal and I should expect it to get worse. Not what I wanted to hear, but I suppose it could be worse. I’m not on bed rest, although at times I think that might be good for me haha.

In other baby news, I think we have finally decided on names. We are definitely set on first names, but the middle names have been up in the air for a while. I think we are officially settled on first and middle names now. I suppose we will see as time goes on, but we do have favorites, as of now.

The baby shower was this weekend, and it was perfect! Our friends did a fantastic job planning it and of course, our dear friend catered it, which was delicious. We had so much fun with the water balloon toss, diaper relay, chasing chickens, and so much more non-traditional baby shower fun. Baby B is so blessed to have such an amazing community!

Ashes is doing really well too! Her grades have been steadily improving, and softball is finally over. Praise God! We all enjoyed that she played, but were definitely ready for the season to end. That everyday commitment was a lot to handle on top of managing her homework and chores. It’s definitely been an adjustment, but now we are settling into a calmer routine, just in time for summer to get here, the move, baby and everything to change. Yes, temporary calm, but it will be a nice calm before the storm.

Sleepless Nights & a Plea for Empathy

May 12, 2014 By: Shana4 Comments

After much searching, Zillow watching, house visiting and number crunching, it’s finally happened. Last night, Casey and I made an offer on a new home. Through God’s truly divine orchestration, we first saw this home about a week and a half ago and have been waiting patiently, or maybe not so patiently, for the homeowner and their relocation company to select a realtor. As soon as we got the name yesterday I called to make an appointment and was sitting with the realtor within a few hours. What a relief it is to have an offer on the table! Although the timing is terrible (moving a few days before baby is due), the house is just what we need long-term and is going to be a fantastic home to raise our family in. I guess I shouldn’t get ahead of myself, would be a fantastic home 😉 This is just the beginning of a long 3-month process. Right now, it’s in the seller’s hands. All we can do is pray for God’s favor and guidance. We are of course hoping the contract stage moves pretty quickly and have set the timeline as such. We are hoping to have a contract before the house goes on the market. I can’t keep the house off my mind though.

I’m sure it’s Baby B’s jabs that keep waking me up at 4 am, but it’s definitely thoughts of the house that keep me up. Everything from what their counter offer will be to how we could decorate it. It’s 6:30am now and I’ve been awake since 4 and up since 5. Maybe this is just my new sleep schedule, but I sure hope not.

Everyone keeps telling me how this is just God’s way of preparing me for baby. I hope they realize how totally unhelpful that statement is, even though it’s probably very true. The last thing I want to hear when I’m exhausted is how there’s no end in sight and it’s only going to get worse. Gee thanks people. Sometimes I think the mommies of the world have forgotten what it’s like to be pregnant, at least on the emotional front. We need to be real with each other, but that doesn’t mean we need to squash the hope and joy of all the little mommies-to-be in the world. It’s okay to still have empathy instead of proudly boasting your battle scars to all the rookies and carrying around a “you just wait” attitude.

You are full of wisdom and true empathy that we need, especially during a time when the ones we are closest to, like our husbands, struggle to relate to our emotional and physical changes. So please, put down your battle flags, your “I knows,” “just waits,” and words clouded in hopelessness and please, pickup your loving arms, encouraging words, and bring it all down into the pit we’re in. Because if you were to think about it for a moment, when your toddler is potty-training or shall we say, peeing in the floor, or your little one has just puked in the backseat, I’m pretty sure the last thing you want is the mom you are seeking understanding from saying “oh you just wait. It gets worse.” Oh joy. Thanks for the pep talk, friend.

Originally written March 12, 2014

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