Love Truthfully

Where Transparency Breathes New Life

Never Miss an Update

  • Home
  • The Purpose
  • Wednesday Wife
  • Married Life
  • Pregnancy
  • Sex Talk
  • Our Travels

Forced to Write: Catching up on life

May 19, 2014 By: Shanacomment

I’m being forced to journal and get a foot massage. Casey literally just pulled me off my computer and over to the couch with pen, journal and ice cream in hand. Then he took my boots off and stuck my feet in the foot massager.

If you haven’t noticed, I’ve been neglecting writing lately, which means I’ve been neglecting my soul. I was doing great for a while there. I had committed to 15 minutes or 3 pages of writing every day for Lent, but sadly, life got in the way. That’s a polite way of saying it. I suppose 3rd trimester, plus moving prep, plus bronchitis, plus new clients all got together at the same time and hit me like a Mac truck. I did a terrible job of protecting my writing time and didn’t feel right about stealing time to write, stealing time for me, when I would look at my to do list and see how behind I was each day.

Even now as I try to write, life is getting in the way. I just got interrupted with a text about the softball banquet for Ashlynne’s team. Did I forget to mention I’m coordinating all the volunteers for that? As soon as I responded and picked up my pen again Ashes came up here to chat. It never stops and it will only get crazier once baby gets here.

That could be soon! In just 2.5 weeks I’ll be 2 weeks away from my due date AND it will be a full moon. If baby wants to come early, Mother Nature will be more than happy to help. Early wouldn’t be too bad. It’s on time that worries me. We close on our house the 21st, move the 23rd, and baby is due the 29th. So 2 weeks early or due date and beyond is okay. Not too much to ask, right?

Baby has really been fun lately. The hiccups are a little annoying, but cute at the same time. Casey put his head on my belly to listen to them the other day. It was precious. Everything has changed in the last couple of days. I have pelvic and lower back pain whenever I’m standing, baby’s kicks are super painful, and my calves and feet hurt from swelling. I went to the doctor today and they said all was normal and I should expect it to get worse. Not what I wanted to hear, but I suppose it could be worse. I’m not on bed rest, although at times I think that might be good for me haha.

In other baby news, I think we have finally decided on names. We are definitely set on first names, but the middle names have been up in the air for a while. I think we are officially settled on first and middle names now. I suppose we will see as time goes on, but we do have favorites, as of now.

The baby shower was this weekend, and it was perfect! Our friends did a fantastic job planning it and of course, our dear friend catered it, which was delicious. We had so much fun with the water balloon toss, diaper relay, chasing chickens, and so much more non-traditional baby shower fun. Baby B is so blessed to have such an amazing community!

yellow-gray-baby-shower
chasing-chickens
baby-shower-diaper-relay
baby-shower-water-balloon

Ashes is doing really well too! Her grades have been steadily improving, and softball is finally over. Praise God! We all enjoyed that she played, but were definitely ready for the season to end. That everyday commitment was a lot to handle on top of managing her homework and chores. It’s definitely been an adjustment, but now we are settling into a calmer routine, just in time for summer to get here, the move, baby and everything to change. Yes, temporary calm, but it will be a nice calm before the storm.

Sleepless Nights & a Plea for Empathy

May 12, 2014 By: Shana4 Comments

After much searching, Zillow watching, house visiting and number crunching, it’s finally happened. Last night, Casey and I made an offer on a new home. Through God’s truly divine orchestration, we first saw this home about a week and a half ago and have been waiting patiently, or maybe not so patiently, for the homeowner and their relocation company to select a realtor. As soon as we got the name yesterday I called to make an appointment and was sitting with the realtor within a few hours. What a relief it is to have an offer on the table! Although the timing is terrible (moving a few days before baby is due), the house is just what we need long-term and is going to be a fantastic home to raise our family in. I guess I shouldn’t get ahead of myself, would be a fantastic home 😉 This is just the beginning of a long 3-month process. Right now, it’s in the seller’s hands. All we can do is pray for God’s favor and guidance. We are of course hoping the contract stage moves pretty quickly and have set the timeline as such. We are hoping to have a contract before the house goes on the market. I can’t keep the house off my mind though.

I’m sure it’s Baby B’s jabs that keep waking me up at 4 am, but it’s definitely thoughts of the house that keep me up. Everything from what their counter offer will be to how we could decorate it. It’s 6:30am now and I’ve been awake since 4 and up since 5. Maybe this is just my new sleep schedule, but I sure hope not.

Everyone keeps telling me how this is just God’s way of preparing me for baby. I hope they realize how totally unhelpful that statement is, even though it’s probably very true. The last thing I want to hear when I’m exhausted is how there’s no end in sight and it’s only going to get worse. Gee thanks people. Sometimes I think the mommies of the world have forgotten what it’s like to be pregnant, at least on the emotional front. We need to be real with each other, but that doesn’t mean we need to squash the hope and joy of all the little mommies-to-be in the world. It’s okay to still have empathy instead of proudly boasting your battle scars to all the rookies and carrying around a “you just wait” attitude.

You are full of wisdom and true empathy that we need, especially during a time when the ones we are closest to, like our husbands, struggle to relate to our emotional and physical changes. So please, put down your battle flags, your “I knows,” “just waits,” and words clouded in hopelessness and please, pickup your loving arms, encouraging words, and bring it all down into the pit we’re in. Because if you were to think about it for a moment, when your toddler is potty-training or shall we say, peeing in the floor, or your little one has just puked in the backseat, I’m pretty sure the last thing you want is the mom you are seeking understanding from saying “oh you just wait. It gets worse.” Oh joy. Thanks for the pep talk, friend.

Originally written March 12, 2014

The Wednesday Wife: Jessica Mackie

May 7, 2014 By: Shana1 Comment

So the story goes something like this. In college, I was dating the guy who had this friend that was a semi-roommate, meaning he would come in town off and on and stay at my boyfriend’s house for a few days at random. Overtime, that friend realized that Johnson City was the place to be so he moved to town to become an official, full-time roommate. Needing money, I started working for this friend at his insurance company. Overtime and beyond the boyfriend that introduced us, this guy became one of my closet friends, like a brother to me.

All the while, in another part of my life, there was this girl. She was my little sister in my sorority and quickly became one of my favorite people. Her raw personality and down-to-earth attitude made us a perfect pair. She was the girl that would come over for dinner and act like my chicken off the George Foreman was amazingly delicious. If she was tired after class she might even stop by for a quick nap in my bed, which she claimed was the most comfortable bed ever. We had a “no fuss friendship” that I loved!

It wasn’t long into my friendship with these two that I could see they needed to meet. They both loved the outdoors, had a thing for horses, and laughed more than any people I knew. Tyler immediately noticed Jessica’s beauty, but Jessica quickly realized my schemes to get het to meet Tyler and avoided him like the plague. I would always have to “stop by work” when she was in the car or go check on Tyler’s dog for him. Sadly, she evaded my mischievous plan and ended up moving to North Carolina (ironically where Tyler had moved from) before I could get them to date.

Then it happened. I came to work one day and Tyler, not the best secret keeper, finally told me that he and Jess had been talking. Victory! Little did I know the journey that God would lead them on. I’ll let Jess tell you the rest herself 🙂

Please remember that when we share like this we are leaving ourselves vulnerable. This is our chance to love on Jess. Please make sure to leave a comment thanking her for sharing or letting her know how her story has encouraged or comforted you. A simple “THANK YOU” goes a long way!

Jessica Mackie married her husband, Tyler, on September 5, 2009.

wednesday-wife-jessica-mackie

1) Tell us your courtship story. How did you meet and end up married?

Tyler and I met when I was attending ETSU in the fall of 2006. My sorority sister tried to introduce us, but I wasn’t feeling it. See, Tyler is 7 years older than me. When Shana told me about Tyler, my response was “no, he is old…and bald.” We didn’t have much communication until after I transferred schools the next year and moved to Asheville, NC. I remember getting a Facebook message from Tyler telling me he used to live in Asheville, and asked if I wanted him to come show me around? We started dating shortly after that.

We dated a year, but honestly I would have married him three weeks in. I knew he was the one. He made me laugh like no one else could. He has this smile that can light up a whole room. Everyone loves Tyler, and if you don’t, well something is just wrong with you 😉 He loves people and he loves to make people feel welcomed and loved. He is generous, and kind, but out spoken at the same time, so he knows how to stand up to people and direct his family in the way he sees fit. Tyler proposed right before our year anniversary of ‘dating” and my answer was “well its about time.” We were married that same year.

2) On your wedding day, if someone asked you why you were getting married, what would you have said?

Tyler is not only my best friend, but also the love of my life. I always wanted a Steve Martin kind of man. The man who could make me laugh, but still be serious – a man everyone admired. He is without a doubt the funniest person I know. He loves me so deep that it’s hard to explain. I cannot imagine my life without him. He pursues me everyday when I don’t deserve it and loves me more Christ like than anybody could. I am always “me” with Tyler, and he loves me the same.

3) If someone asked you today why you have stayed married, what would you say?

We stayed married because I made a promise before God. I made a promise to Tyler. It hasn’t always been easy, but I would rather fight with Tyler then try to love someone else. God calls us to love one another and to be selfless. Marriage is exactly that, and it’s a learning process.

4) Do you have children? If so, how has having children affected your marriage?

We have two children. Maverick who is about to turn 3, and Marley who just turned a year old. WOW! Children have rocked our world, for the better and the worse. My pregnancies aren’t easy. I throw up the entire 9 months. I lost 27 pounds the first trimester with Maverick. It is a miserable and such a humbling experience all at the same time. When you are sitting in your own throw up, crying, you really get to know your husband. Most guys would probably throw you a towel and walk out the door ,but Tyler would hold my hair back, grab my hand, and whisper how much he loved me and thank me for growing his babies. Poor Tyler has seen me at my worse. Not only do I throw up, but also I have really bad preeclampsia at the end of my pregnancies, which can be dangerous all in itself.

After the kids are born we are usually okay. Maverick was just an adjustment because we had no idea whatsoever what we were doing. We ended up having an emergency c-section, which made it difficult when Tyler had to go back to work less than a week later because he owns his own business. Marley was a better experience I had a v back, which is just a vaginal birth after a c-section. She was a great baby. Many people say kids make a marriage harder, but I think they make it so entertaining and exciting. It is never a dull moment, but we still date each other. If the budget is tight and we can’t get a sitter, we put the kids to bed and sit on the back porch. Sometimes when life gets a little crazy we talk at each other, but we need to learn to slow down and do this life together and talk with each other.

5) What has been one of your greatest trials in your marriage and how did you all overcome it?

I touched base on this in question #4, but it would have to be when I was pregnant with Maverick. Many people have said to me, “its only nine months,” and that is true. When you look at your baby’s entire life, the pregnancy is just a small glimpse of their life, but when you throw up 20 times a day, hugging a toilet with throw up in your hair, so weak you can’t stand, so depressed because your body literally feels like it is shutting down, nothing sounds good to eat because you can’t hold it down long enough to pass through your stomach, it’s a different life.

I laugh at the movie recently out called What to Expect When You’re Expecting. If you haven’t seen it, I recommend you do so. There is a girl who has amazing pregnancies in the movie. She wears heals the entire time she is pregnant. Her skin is perfect Her hair has volume. She sleeps good. She has a good sex drive. She eats whatever she wants and doesn’t gain a pound. She even goes into labor, sneezes and the baby pops out with no pain at all. Rigghhhtttt!! Then there is the girl who has a bad pregnancy. She poops and pees on herself. She hates her husband. She is moody, depressed, sick, and feels like she is failing in everything around her. She doesn’t have much glow. That was me. I wouldn’t change a thing though.

Pregnancy looks different for everyone. For me, I didn’t like my body and the changes that came with pregnancy. I got depressed. I didn’t talk to Tyler much about how I was feeling because I didn’t think he would understand. Losing 27 pounds in less than 12 short weeks was hard on my body and my mind. It wasn’t just throwing up in the morning. It was 24-7. I would be dead asleep, and I would wake up and have to run to the bathroom. My friends would laugh at me when they saw me. I looked like crap. I carried a bucket with me wherever I went just in case I couldn’t make it in time to the bathroom. I never allowed Tyler in. I never let him see me throw up or upset until I got pregnant with Marley. By then it was second nature. We had random buckets lying around the house, even one in the cars. We had the blow up mattress in the guest bathroom where I slept day in and day out. We had friends make us meals, and friends who would play with maverick while I would crawl in the shower. It was still hard, but we I learned I couldn’t do it without him. I needed him to take care of me. I needed to let him in. I couldn’t allow our marriage to go through another 9 months of suffering.

6) What has been the most challenging aspect of being a wife?

In the beginning of our marriage it was this feeling of entitlement. I wanted to do things my way. I never wanted to go do what he wanted to do. I really never wanted to be a wife who stayed at home, cleaned, had dinner waiting on the table as soon as the hubby came home, homeschooled the children, woke up early to cook everyone breakfast, and loved every minute of it. I loved my job, and when we found out we were pregnant with Maverick I fell to the floor. I didn’t want that “life.” But now that I am in this “life,” I can’t imagine going back to the way things were.

I delight in waking up early to cook my husband breakfast and having his lunch prepared before he walks out the door. I love trying new recipes and being in the kitchen. I love that I get to stay home with two kiddos to see them walk for the first time, or to have play dates with friends. I definitely do not do all the things and never will do some things such as homeschooling, having the house always cleaned, laundry put away, kids that are well-groomed, but it’s amazing how much God has changed me to want to serve Tyler. If you knew me at all before kids or even before marriage, no one ever told me what to do, I was always in charge, knew what I wanted in life, and I was going to get it, but God has turned these qualities of mine into such sweet gifts.

7) How has being a wife changed you?

I think I answered most of this on question #6, but I find myself changing almost every season. I have learned, and I am still learning how to be selfless; how to put others first, have a happy heart, and delight in the small things in life, even when it comes to changing a dirty diaper.

8) What does date night look like for you?

Tyler and I love to go out to eat and chat it up. We also love to go to Barnes n Noble, get a coffee and get books and dream about our future farm house. Otherwise, we end up playing corn hole and drinking wine after the kids go to bed. You have to date each other; I think it’s the most important thing in a marriage.

9) What are the top three things/people that pull you away from or compete with your marriage? How do you deal with them?

1. Tyler’s business. When you own your own business, it’s hard to really go on vacation or even just “be.” We had to learn in the early years to draw the line between work and family. Turning off your phone. Not reading emails at the table. It’s still something we deal with.
2. Extended Family. We also learned in the early years to draw the line with our extended family. People that love you are always willing to give you advice on your marriage. We had to decide when advice was given out of truth or when it was given out of fear. Even though they had good intentions, their advice was lacking in wisdom and truth.
3. Friends. Honestly, we had to loose some friends along the way. We had some friends that would just tear down our marriage. We had to learn to surround ourselves with people who were not on certain sides. Who spoke and shared the Gospel. Who would pray for our marriage, instead of hurting and attacking it. When you are not with your spouse, learn to speak kindly about them.

10) What role has community played in your marriage?

Okay, this is seriously my favorite question on here. Where would Tyler and I be without community? Honestly, we talk about this often. Without our dear friends, Tyler and I would probaby be divorced. We had a tough first year being married, and we had some great friends come along side of us and help carry our burdens. They showed us the importance of never saying divorce, how to discuss things without leaving mad, how to bring up small things in a way where it wasn’t like we were purposly hurting each other, and most importantly NOT saying I am sorry. We learned that saying sorry isnt really helping either of us, but asking for forgivness for the action, or the unkind word heals not only the one that is hurting, but also allows the other peson to understand why that person was so hurt. And this is probably lame to some, but also using emotions. You made me feel sad, happy, alone, overwhelmed, etc. Our community has prayed over our marriage, has met with us on late nights, and has loved us so well during it all. I cant imagine where we would be without them.

11) What’s one thing you wish someone had told you before marriage?

I wish someone told me to speak out of kindness, to not get mad about the small things, and to enjoy each other in this moment. I always wish they told me never to talk to any family member about any fights or argument between me and Tyler. Tyler and I both failed at this, and of course, each other’s family members took our sides, which made the argument even bigger.

If you have one final thought or piece of advice to share with current or future wives, what would it be?

Protect your marriage. Communicate with your spouse. Always speak kindly about each other when the other one isn’t there. Encourage each other. Have sex. No one ever got a divorce because there was too much sex. Love each other to the best of your ability. Try and make each other’s day a little easier by doing little things for them. And without a doubt pray for each other and with each other. There is no greater gift and intimacy between Tyler, God, and me. Hearing a man pray for your sweet children, and for your future is priceless.

Sneak Peek at Maternity Pictures by In Color Creative

May 6, 2014 By: Shana2 Comments

Can I just tell you all that I am absolutely in awe that we were able to squeeze maternity pictures in during the chaos of moving?! I thought for sure we would just miss out on photos this time around, but thanks to our good friend, Kevin Banks, we made it happen!

We just took the pictures on Saturday so it will be a few more weeks before we get the full load of pictures, but Kevin knew how excited I was to see these so he sent me a SNEAK PEEK to share with you all!

Despite the fact that I feel huge, Kevin did a fantastic job making me feel beautiful! I can’t recommend his work enough so head on over to In Color Creative to see more of what he’s capable of and drool over his incredible travel pictures!

maternity-photography-in-color-creative-nashville maternity-photography-in-color-creative-nashville-2 maternity-photography-in-color-creative-nashville-3 maternity-photography-in-color-creative-nashville-4 maternity-photography-in-color-creative-nashville-5

 

Remember how I said Kevin is awesome?! He also took the time to capture some cool shots of Ashlynne doing what she loves the most. Check these out!

dance-photography-nashville-tn Bresnahan_Maternity_Photos_140503_19_41-4

99 Days to Go!

April 18, 2014 By: Shanacomment

Baby is doing well and moving more and more everyday. I love getting to feel him/her kick around in there, but I’m sure I won’t be saying that much longer. It’s probably about 1.8o z and 14 inches. These days I’m spending a lot of time at the doctor. I was supposed to be going every 4 weeks, but lightheadedness and an extreme drop in potassium (compared to my typical, concerning high potassium) has me in and out all the time now. I’m even going to a nephrologist to have my kidney’s checked. The will mean I’ve seen pretty much every speciality at Vanderbilt – endocrinology, cardiology, neurology, nephrology, gastroenterology, and gynecology. There can’t be many more -ologies that I’m missing.

The good thing is I get to see baby more often. The other day they were listening to baby’s heartbeat and it dropped suddenly. They did an emergency ultrasound. Everything was fine (praise God!), and I got to see baby playing around. Baby was sitting folded over like it always is so I couldn’t see if it was a boy or a girl. That means I got to watch and even got more pictures to bring home!

I have another appointment the first week of March and they’ve scheduled another ultrasound so I’ll get to see our baby again! Only 99 days to go until 40 weeks! You know, it almost doesn’t seem real. We are collecting baby stuff, but it just goes right into a box. We haven’t done anything to the nursery because we don’t have one. We are trying to move. We need more space for our growing family. More to come on that! 

Originally written February 17, 2014. I’ve been sick for the last few weeks, but I’ll be catching you all up soon! 

« Previous Page
Next Page »
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

Meet the Wife

Hi! I'm a semi-newlywed living in a small town outside of Nashville with my husband, Casey, our baby boy, teen niece, and hyperactive dog, Minny. I'm a new mom and marketing consultant at BeEngaging.com that loves Jesus and won't eat anything with 4 legs. I talk about marriage, pregnancy, parenting and everything in between. I believe real growth only happens through transparency. Join me on the journey. Read More…

Featured Post

baby-ultrasound-8-weeks

Meeting Our Baby and Our Doctor

Originally written October 11, 2013. Here we sit. I can’t believe this day is already here. I’m 8 weeks along, and we get to meet our Baby B today. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous. Part of me fears what the bad news could be. The other part of me just doesn’t […]

Recent Posts

  • Thoughts from a 5am Cuddle Session
  • Mine for a Moment
  • Silas Graham is 3 Months Old!

Archives

Connect on Instagram

Photo
Followers
Followings

Photo Life

    Connect on Twitter

    My Tweets

    Tags

    25 things at 25 anger anniversary ashlynne Bible birth book review celebration communication community conflict connection counseling culture date divorce failure faith family family life financial struggle fitness gifts for spouse God health holiday Home husband illness in-laws labor leadership mckelvy military miscarriage missions money moving parenting pregnancy sex silas submission wedding writing

    Looking for something?

    Categories

    Copyright © 2021 · Modern Blogger Pro Theme By, Pretty Darn Cute Design