I’ve been MIA on the blog posts lately, for good reason. I’ve been consumed helping one of my best friends unite with the love of her life in marriage. As the matron of honor, I had the joy of getting to give a toast at the wedding. I had so much I wanted to say that it took an act of God to get it narrowed down to a short speech. During the speech I gave 4 pieces of advice to my dear friend and her husband. I thought I’d share them with you.

1) Put Christ in the center. The husband should pursue Christ with everything in him. Even though it’s difficult, especially for me, us wives needs to follow our husband’s lead because he’s following Christ.

2) Be transparent. If we can’t be honest and be ourselves with our spouse than who? It’s hard to fully trust anyone, but we need to let go and trust that our spouse is there to catch us.

3) Be humble. We are all just sinners married to sinners. Some days, we will expect our spouse to be perfect. We have to take the plank out of our own eye before we point out the splinter in our spouse’s. As a couple, we have to realize that there be some days when all we can do is fall on our knees before out Savior.

4) Be intentional. Being married doesn’t come naturally. Staying engaged and emotionally connected is even harder. We have to be intentional about our quality time and engaged conversation. We have to be intentional about working through conflict. We have to be intentional about growing deeper in intimacy.

Please know that these words of advice do not come from someone who claims to be good at following this advice 🙂

If you could share 4 pieces of advice to a newlywed couple, what would they be?

With all this Royal Wedding hoopla, I can’t help but wonder why everyone, including me, is so intrigued by this story. I have no ties to Britain, am not particularly interested in weddings, yet I am interested in Kate & Will’s wedding. I honestly think it has something to do with the fairy tale stories that we are fed as children. We all know the Disney movies I’m referencing: Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, The Little Mermaid.

    

Take your pick of the lot. There’s a similar story to each of them. An exciting tale of a damsel falling in love with a dashing prince who rescues her from her plight. They marry. They live happily ever after. Interestingly enough, the movie never goes beyond the wedding to show you the happily ever after part. I think there’s two reasons that might be. The first and most likely – the ever after wasn’t so happy after all, at least not in the fairy tale sort of way they want you to think. The second, no would watch it. Is it a calm, happy story that they show us pre-wedding in any of those movies? NO! It’s a dramatic story of terror, evil, fighting, humor, death… and that’s exactly what draws us in. Without all the excitement, who would watch? There’s only one “fairytale” story that’s continued on to show us life after marriage: Shrek. If you’ve ever seen the sequels, you know the marriage picture they show is far from the picturesque happily ever after ending, and that’s why we we like it.

Overall, I think it’s the fact that Kate is an everyday woman, like you and me, that makes us more enthralled with this story. Sure we’d likely still be interested, but there’s a connection that us non-aristocratic girls feel to a “commoner” like Kate. We all have some deep down desire to be rescued by a prince and have the royal wedding, but the reality is that the ever after of the fairy tale wedding, often isn’t so happy. I think every royal wedding since the Queen’s has ended in divorce. Maybe ever after isn’t so happy after all. Let’s pray Kate & Will’s does not follow suit.